Children with disabilities: how to help their parents avoid despair

The day a child is diagnosed with a disability usually divides the parents’ lives into “before” and “after”. Natalia Terekhova found out that her son had type I diabetes when the child was only three years old. And this childhood, but very serious illness helped Natalya become the person who today supports hundreds of parents who find themselves in the same situation.

How can we help moms and dads who are faced with a terrible grief? Where can you get the strength to live a full life and help others when your child is sick? How does the kindness you put in other people come back?

I have two sons. The eldest is soon 17, and the youngest is 5 years old. The youngest son has been sick for the last two years.

Our family is Christian, we do not drink alcohol, and in general our children did not get sick – well, some colds … And Artemchik’s diagnosis was out of the blue – type I diabetes! And this is a very serious diagnosis – it is not just diabetes, but a disability.

How did I know that something was wrong? I saw that the child began to lose weight very much. It must have been for a month. Then we began to notice that he is constantly thirsty and often wants to go to the toilet. And at some stage it was right very often – every half hour, he even woke up at night.

I started googling the symptoms and saw that it all looked like diabetes. I called the doctor in the morning, she said : “It can’t be, don’t wind yourself up! But if you want, hand over the tests to calm down ”. We immediately did that, and she called back the same day, saying: “Natasha, very high blood sugar. It should be 5, but you have 20. Probably some mistake. Make new tests! “

We lost two more days, and they were already critical. Now I already understand that the child could fall into a coma, and anything could happen during these days, which were already difficult.

When the diagnosis was confirmed, we urgently went to the hospital. Thank God, it didn’t come to resuscitation. Then I was just very glad that I finally know what my child is sick with.

I thought: of course, it could happen to anyone! For example, those people who gather near the garbage can, pregnant women with beers in their hands … But definitely not with me! I am the one who walks with her child in the park, leads a healthy lifestyle and prays! .. Yes, I could not understand why God allowed this …

This grief united our family. I have a wonderful husband and son who help me a lot. We have to measure sugar levels very often. Artyom is five years old, he is active, and if the problem is not noticed in time, the child may fall into a coma.

Both my husband and eldest son give injections, take blood sugar measurements, and monitor Artyom’s condition. They rebuilt the food system in our house so that everything is low in carbohydrates, less temptation for the baby. We all understand the responsibility that lies with us to keep an eye on Artyom, and he had no complications in his eyesight, legs …

I will say right away – we trust God in this matter. Of course, sometimes there was a feeling that you were being carried away by a whirlpool. This is a question of a second, when a child needs to quickly be given something sweet, because he can simply fall into a coma … There were such stressful situations, and with God’s help we went through them. Hopefully it will be easier

It is not in vain that the Bible says that there are springs in the “valleys.” These valleys have been a source of prayer, strength and understanding for people who are experiencing the same situation.

It is thanks to these “springs” that I have gathered a whole community in our church – 18 families, in which children with various diagnoses. We communicate and support each other. And also a community of children with diabetes, where there are more than a hundred families. All the time we are in touch in Viber – we support and help with practical advice, recipes … Life goes on, no matter what! Do we God-fearing people love God only in times of joy? No, but in difficult times too!

There are people who have just learned about the problem and still do not know how to trust God, have not discovered these sources of strength in themselves. How can I help them?

For example, in our Viber community of 100 parents, only four are believers. When we are told: “We are adding a new mommy – she is deeply depressed, just found out about the diagnosis. Girls, support her! ” we immediately begin to inspire her and surround her with care. And a person feels that she is not alone – this is enough for a start.

After about a year, a new stage comes when you need to stop blaming yourself for what happened. We need to stop digging in ourselves, asking all these questions: “What could I have done differently? How could have I prevent it? .. “

We help to close this door between the past, resentment towards ourselves, disappointment and move on to a new stage. And then, probably, a person is morally ready to see God in this situation.