Dear Rebbe… or I Always Wanted to Serve God

Dear Rebbe! I am writing this letter to you and first I want to thank God for you and you for God and for the fact that you and Him together sowed in me that good, bright and eternal thing that fills my life every day, blooms and smells.

As you well know, from the very first day of my appearance in the church, I tried to serve our Lord. First, I served Him with everything that He Himself gave me – with my initiative, wit and punctuality. If I did not forget to come to Shabbat and home groups while watching TV, then by my very presence I selflessly served God. After all, you remember my loud questions from the audience, full of intelligence – for example, I asked what car the Apostle Paul would drive to Damascus if he lived in today’s days; and also – why the beast from the book of Revelation had only two and not three horns. And, you know, it doesn’t matter that your sermon was about something completely different – it’s important that people read the Word of God and meditate on it. Encouragement to study the Scriptures is also one of my callings.

Rebbe, as you remember, I immediately wanted to become an apostle. Especially after that part of Acts, where someone there, I don’t remember who, brought his property at their feet. Serious and responsible people should manage God’s property and who, if not me, is better suited to this role than other Pharisees and scribes from our church. That is why I could not agree to your proposal to arrange chairs in the hall – in addition to the apostolic calling, I also have a hernia, myopia, dandruff and pain in the lower left side of my back. I can’t lift and carry anything heavier than the Bible, I even carry the Bible infrequently so as not to get tired.

As I said, I have always wanted, want and never will want anything else than to serve the Lord. Once, when I was younger, I agreed to go out with the youth of our church to evangelize and since then I realized that the Lord has completely different plans and scope for me. It is silly to hand out papers with invitations to our next Jewish holiday, it is much better to engage in a full-fledged online media ministry. For example, to visit the websites of Jehovah’s Witnesses, Mormons and Krishnaites, in order to once again indicate to these generations of vipers where they belong and how to correctly believe in our Lord and serve Him. As you know, I have achieved considerable success in this field – I was blocked in 36 groups on VKontakt, in 44 groups on Odnoklassniki and a few more on Facebook. They write that “because of spam” – these Chaldeans dared to call quotes from the Word of God spam! Do you have any idea what our world has come to, Rebbe? How can one live in it without service?

I realized a long time ago that I had the gift of teaching. Long workouts in front of the mirror in the toilet paid off – I can swing the Bible very energetically, I manage to raise my voice in special places almost the first time and in general – I start to beware of myself at such moments. Can you imagine the effect this has on hardened sinners? I started to train on my dog,  on neighbors and local alcoholics. The Word of God was a double-edged sword in my hands, I broke the birth curses and cut through all kinds of untruth and heresy. Neighbors now slam doors in front of me, alcoholics quickly sober up and start to swear  from one sight of such a Warrior of Light like me, the dog whines plaintively and I slowly shake off the dust from my shoes, as all preachers are commanded to do and go to other villages. Rebbe, are there alcoholics near your house?

I remember one day, out of inexperience, I agreed to take part in the theater ministry of our community. I was given the responsible role of a tree, I had to slowly, prayerfully sway over Peter and Paul sitting under me. But you know that my calling is the prophetic ministry. You, I hope, remember the indescribable moment of amazement of our Peter and Paul, when the tree, that is, I, began to prophesy in the life of each of them, quoting alternately Jeremiah, then Malachi, then Daniel himself – I said to them: “Let those who do iniquity turn around, they will rise like eagles and fly and preach the gospel to every creature, casting out demons and healing lepers.” I don’t know, Rebbe, why you then interrupted the festive scene and for a long time explained to all those present that trees cannot speak. Bythe way, everything is possible for God. And you showed your lack of faith. Shame on you.

I want to serve the Lord with all my heart, and would do everything possible and that is in my power, if not for the fact that I have a young wife. More precisely, I do not have her yet, but I receive her by faith. A young wife should be given a lot of time while she is young. And I also have workouts, I work out in the gym, and in the current age of McDonalds, Rebbe, you understand how difficult it is to keep your figure. In general, I will honestly say that if it were not for my dog, which I have already mentioned above, then I could have served God much more. But it is written that you need to take care of the smaller brothers. So, I have to periodically, every day, bathe her, give her a haircut and pedicure – oh, and this is not an easy task – taking care of your neighbor. Also, as you remember, I have a sick aunt. True, she lives in another city and I visit her once every six months, but I also have to take care of her. And I also have a village. More precisely, two villages. My grandparents lived there. It si true that they died eight years ago, but after all, at least sometimes, almost every weekend, I need to visit your small homeland, honor the memory of your ancestors, shed a sincere tear for their unsaved sinful souls …

But most importantly, Rebbe, I have to work. I have to support my future family. It does not matter that I still live with my parents and they feed me. Until recently, for the last five years, I have been drawing up a business plan for my most successful business, which will give me complete independence from mom and dad, and our country. So far, the first point of my business plan is to leave for sunny Spain, where at first I will work on an orange plantation, after that I will buy it and begin to export oranges to the USA, India, China and Honduras, and make the most delicious and healthy, fortified fresh -juice. Then, after reaching an income of one million US dollars, I will buy a villa on the seashore and a private jet with the money earned by honest labor. And only then I will fly to our church, so be it – I will hand over the accumulated tithe and give a ride to our Jewish grandmothers around the district . Let them lean out of the windows and catch the breeze – the joy they will have. By the way, I forgot to say, but you yourself probably guessed – as I finally realized, my most important ministry and vocation is a business ministry, I will serve the Lord, our church, brothers and sisters, the Jewish grandmothers mentioned above with my money , well, and you. But the main thing for the Lord is that you do not become proud and do not be self-conceited.

P.S. I send this letter and go to the station, to get tickets to Spain. I wish you to serve the Lord as strongly and selflessly as I do.

Alex Fishman

 

Source: https://ieshua.org/dorogoj-rebe-ili-ya-vsegda-xotel-sluzhit-bogu.htm

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