How should we view the revelation about wife (or husband)?

Shalom! I sent in a question and never received an answer. Tell me please, when someone says “I have received a revelation that God told him that this sister is meant to be his wife ”, then how to relate to this? My sister has been waiting for this kind of “husband” for 7 years. Thanks. (Mila)

Mihhail, the rabbi of the Vinnitsa messianic community, answers:

Hello Mila.

Thank you for your persistence. For some reason, I didn’t really want to answer your question, but because of your persistence I have to :)

I am familiar with cases similar to the one you described in your question. Often, different people are willing to consider anything as the will of God, as long as they have a “reason” to consider their desire to have something that should never belong to them  legitimately.

In matters of marriage, it looks like this: one person likes another person and he begins to pray to God for confirmation. It happens that anything is taken as a confirming sign: any manifestation of attention on the part of this other person; a dream where this person was; a dream where this person was not, but where there were other things suitable as confirmation for someone who is looking for any form of confirmation; talking about HIM (or HER) in your presence, and then do you need any more confirmation? :) In general, if you really want to, then … anything will pass for a revelation. At the same time, it should be said that God can tell a person something about his future chosen one. It just doesn’t happen as often as people think. And to confirm His will, the Almighty usually chooses not dreams or prophecies from special prophets.

God created man to be able to love and mutual love will be the best revelation for confirming God’s will for marriage. I know situations when a person had all the confirmation of “God’s will” to marry a person who was already married. It is clear that in this case such “signs” were not from God. There was a carnal lust and desire for things that are forbidden by the Scripture.

But what about confirmation? Well, it just wasn’t from God. Or, one brother was prophesied to marry a sister for whom he had no love at all. As it turned out later, she too had no feelings for him. What is it? Someone really wanted to look like a prophet? It happens, unfortunately … By the way, if love flared up between two people, but at the same time one of them, or both, are already married, then this is not God’s love and not God’s will.

I don’t know, Mila, whether my answer  touched a situation familiar to you. To put it simply then much in this life should look far simpler than it seems to us.