How to survive a personal tragedy without being offended by God?

Hard times and personal tragedies test the strength of the character. Viktoria Androsova had been waiting for her female happiness for a long time, and having met “the right” person, she blossomed and finally allowed herself to be fragile and trusting. But the life of the couple was turned upside down by a tragic accident, for which it was impossible to prepare…

Where to get the strength and not to break in times of trial? How to survive a tragedy without being offended at God for allowing it to happen? What will help keep love in a marriage when a spouse who provided has become someone who needs care?

Victoria told Club LIFE about the tragic ordeal of her family and the personal format of happiness:

“April 11 is my birthday, and on April 12, 2009, Sergey and I got married. We got married. It was such a gift for me! Victoria shares. “I am very, very lucky!” To have such a husband is even too much of a blessing from God for me. We have one desire for two, one goal for two … The first four years of marriage became four years of bliss. After all, next to me was a person who took responsibility for me, my life and my child. And before that I had a difficult period and a hard life.

…But everything changed dramatically in one day. I couldn’t even think that this could happen to us.

Sergey was preparing the stage lighting for the Christmas performance. One of the lamps did not work, and the logs that  he could stand on were rotten. My husband stood on them and fell from a height of 10 meters,  on his head… The ambulance did not want to take him away, they answered: “Let the man die in peace.”

I remember the words of a doctor who said: “I will operate him, but I can’t give even 5%, that there will be a positive result.” I remember how I went outside and prayed for a long time. I said: “God, whatever it is, even if I have to push him in a chair all his life, it doesn’t matter at all!”

After that, there were 30 days of resuscitation, coma … Five years have passed. None of the predictions we were given came true. Doctors say it’s a miracle!

“All that comes to mind right now is a quote from the Bible: “I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:13). With God’s power, with His help, everything is possible to do,” says Sergey Bukhalenko, Victoria’s husband.

“To be honest, most of all, both Sergey and I dream not of absolute healing, but that we constantly have the opportunity to remain active to the end and show people Christ, show people God,” says Victoria.

“You either live or you exist. And I want to live and help both the people around me and my wife,” Sergey shares his dreams.

The power has to be within – it comes from the spirit. It doesn’t matter if you are a man or a woman – you must be strong inside. If you constantly look like a victim and behave like a victim, then, unfortunately, this scenario will be carried out in your life.

I think it is necessary, despite all the tragedies, to stand up and rewrite the script. You have everything you need for this – it is in your head. But you need to learn to think differently – even about yourself. Whatever happens, you must believe that this is the best path for you. And so you can learn some lessons from what is happening. I know for sure that this situation has taught us to love more. I can’t say that we didn’t know how to do it before. We did, but within certain limits. Now much more.

I was often asked: “Why did God punish you like that?” There were many such questions, but, in my opinion. Because I know where God has been. He was there! That’s why I never asked myself this question. No, I was not offended at God; rather, I did not understand the purpose of what was happening. AndI didn’t know what to do next. And, perhaps, the worst thing is that you do not know when this will end. Learning to live with it was the hardest part.

For me, the Bible is the Book of Books. The most important. And there was one verse: “The horse is prepared for the day of battle, but victory is from the Lord” (Proverbs 21:31) For some reason I always loved this place from the Holy Scripture, but I personally experienced these words during this period of trials.

I realized that one cannot be free without responsibility. It seemed that such opposite concepts as freedom and responsibility do not exist without each other.

I realized that God, as a loving father, has done everything that I cannot, but He will never do for me what I can do for myself. God helps me where I may have already made some efforts, but I do not have enough of my own resources. If I “prepare my horse”, He will intervene in time – even when I do not hope for His help.

I also found my faith in trials, but that was much earlier. In the dashing 90s, I had a fairly successful business, but the “kind people” betrayed me and I was forced to sell everything I had. I was left completely alone, with a child – without housing, without money, without work … Absolutely without anything. Then all I could think of was where to find food for the child and somehow get through another day. He probably only kept me in this world.

One day I went outside and met a friend. He put me in a car and drove me to an unusual building with a cross. I realized that this is some kind of church.

Then I sat for a long time in the office of a certain person, and he told me something. I remember he quoted a verse from the Bible that God loves me with an eternal love, and therefore He favors me. And at that moment it was like a light went on in my head.

After that, I was in the church in all the services that were held there – I walked from Obolon to Vinogradar, because there was no money for the road. That’s how God found me, that’s how I found faith, and that’s how faith found me!

How to get through life’s unexpected challenges. How not to break? Where to get strength?

I can list what I did. I didn’t listen to people, honestly. Because people gave advice, even if they were not asked for it. No, I did not fence myself off from people, but I always understood that I needed to listen to God, not them. Because people advised some superficial things.

One day I just heard within myself: “I am God, I am near, and I am more than anything. Listen to Me, I have not gone anywhere, I am here, I am faithful… “

From that moment on, I began to look at people as those who are in great need of love and acceptance. I am the same. I had my own thinking, my own attitudes, but God destroys it all. He is more. He really is more. And this understanding gave me strength. We need to be strong inside…



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