The community of Eastern guru could not give me what Yeshua gave

I grew up in Israel in a secular family. Of course, we celebrated the holidays, like everyone else in Israel. I always believed in God, but I never had a real relationship with Him, I didn’t really know what it was. I went to school, I got a job, I got a place to live, I got married, I had kids – all this routine, and I said, “Okay, what else? There must be something more.”

When I was 23, I first left Israel for America, primarily to visit my mother. At that time she lived in a spiritual community – very beautiful, very healthy – no smoking, no alcohol, no drugs. This community was founded by a guru from India. Whatever you believe in is good as long as it does good for you as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else. I learned about yoga, I learned about Hindu philosophy, and other philosophies – of course, Eastern ones.

Everything was very surreal there, very peaceful, beyond the madness of this world, we were like in a bubble. Finally I decided to stay there. It was there that I met my future husband, and he was very involved in the spiritual side of the life of the community. I started to feel less and less connected to it all. I had different ideas, but I didn’t really have my own personal way.

Everyone else seemed to have found their place, or looked up to the guru as their, you know, spiritual master, and some people even looked up to him as god. I never felt like I wanted to be a part of it. I just didn’t think that was the way. And it certainly wasn’t the way for me.

I was looking for God. I was looking for something… to experience God. And I thought the closest thing to that would be the synagogue. It was the only meaningful option for me. I didn’t even consider churches or anything like that…

The synagogue was very ritual – you know, you have to do this and that. I never felt anything there, never, even as a child, it did not look to me like a path to God. This led me, if I may say so, to a mad desire to find answers.

Videos, documentaries, the Internet… All the free time I had was somehow taken up with this. It engulfed me to find these answers, to get to the bottom of it. At that time, if you had asked me if I would ever believe in Jesus, Yeshua, I would have answered: “Are you crazy?”

When I picked up the New Testament, I wondered what could be so wrong with it. I had to logically come to the conclusion that all the evidence and everything in that book makes sense.

All of a sudden I found that this whole thing about Jesus and Christianity is completely different from how I imagined it. It was like an absolutely Jewish book, it was all in a Jewish context. It made me read more to find out what else I hadn’t been told because I didn’t see anything anti-Semitic there, I didn’t see anything negative or anything “Christian”.

As I read the New Testament and learned more about who Yeshua was and, you know, how Jewish He was, there is nothing more Jewish that a Jew could do than to believe in a Jewish Messiah!

By the time I had finished reading the Gospel of John, I was ready to surrender to Yeshua. There was something about this book, the way it was written… logically it all came together, but there was one part that held me back… Surrendering was almost like a defeat for me.

I was by myself in my room, I knelt down, and I prayed that Jesus would come, that Yeshua would come into my life. There were no fireworks or anything incredible, nothing changed outside. But you get that feeling when you know that something is right. And that’s exactly how I felt. I felt that I had found the truth. The main truth.

Okay, I’m Yours.




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