“The Greatest Shock of My Life – Jesus Stood in Front of Me”

Published April 12, 2002 in the Estonian Christian Weekly Newspaper(Word of Life) No. 14.

During the last year three well-known witches in Estonia have died: Gunnar Aarma, Sirje Gabriel, and few months ago, Luule Viilma died in a car accident in Pärnu County. Was it an attack of a spiritual kind, a wave of evil against the evil servants themselves?

Katrin *, is that why you are not willing to publish your name?

I know from experience that the forces acting on the other side are the forces of evil. I don’t want to have anything to do with them anymore. Finally, I have managed to get rid of the past, I have left divination and dealing with evil spirits. It took years before I got rid of them.

Where do witches get their knowledge?

They themselves say that they receive it from space, from spirits, from the dead. The “spirit of the dead person” often begins to communicate with a person who has lost a loved one. However, some who have been interested in UFOs may one day find themselves interacting with aliens. Anyone who has been exposed to healing phenomena, spiritualism, or the like knows that there is a force that cannot be explained by the laws of physics. Contacts with so called “the other side” come not through the physical senses, but through “supernatural” channels.

Why do people believe in the witches? What is so fascinating in their world?

It also amazes me that the same person, for whom it is so important what he eats and drinks, what he wears and what material he uses for building his house, gives life to someone he doesn’t really know.

Everything in life is subject to laws that are not invented by man and that cannot be changed or subdued. It is really interesting that whoever follows the 2 + 2 = 4 rule in the physical world without hesitation lets himself be guided in the invisible world by who knows what. I am referring here to those who offer their so-called supernatural abilities, as well as those in need who turn to people with “abilities”. Would we jump down from a high tower if we were told that this way we can get rid of smoking? However, people follow the orders of the witches blindly.

So how dangerous can it be to communicate with the “spirits of the dead”?

I thought exactly the same thing myself. Years ago, people came to me for help, I did all sorts of forms of spiritualism. Many considered me a person with abilities. One day I was dying and I came to a terrible discovery – what I had been doing was not a child’s play. In the world of spirits there are real persons who have definite goals with people and humanity.

How did you discover that you have supernatural abilities?

I come from a Soviet-era atheist family. Then there was a certain knowledge that man has evolved, there is nothing “on the other side”, life ends in death, and that is the end. Despite what I was taught at school and told about at home, I experienced strange phenomena as a child that I was ashamed to tell others about. Once I felt “someone” near me, whom I could not see, I was overwhelmed by fear or felt as if I was going to die right away.

As a teenager, I met someone who had the same experience. He had a literature where he was taught how to summon spirits and receive information from them. We turned off the lights, lit candles and the session began… It all seemed childish, because I had learned that there was nothing “over there”. But it worked. The plates moved and we got the answers to the questions.

We jokingly did all of these things, but since then my life had changed completely. Invisible creatures walked in and out of my front door. They ruled there, not me. I often woke up with a terrible fear, feeling the nearness of death. I struggled at night, swallowing sedatives. I could no longer hide it from my mother. We went to the doctor. The psychiatrist listened to the story and prescribed the same sedatives I had already eaten. He could not help anymore. He added that I am a completely healthy child, who may have a slightly weaker nervous system.

I was desperate. Neither my mother, the doctors nor the teachers had a solution to my problems. That’s how it lasted for years. One day a person who was involved in divination came to my work place. Together we began to tell the future. The future was laid out in front of me like a map. Fear of death disappeared as it was encouraging to learn that the end was not yet at the door.

This diviner seemed to be like an ordinary person, but everything he spoke and did was contrary to what science has to offer. When I asked him how he knew all this, he smiled and said that the cards knew. He once spoke with a surprising precision about everything that happened in my life. But then the cards fell from his hands. The man, however, did not allow himself to be disturbed by it and continued to speak, and rightly so. This made me think for the first time that supernatural knowledge does not come from cards.

So who shares the information?

I was looking for answers to the same question myself. Diviner knew things about me that only I knew. He talked about events where only I had been there, where there was no one to tell him. It became clearer as I began to fortune tell to others. I was amazed at how accurately my predictions came true. The voices gave information about the people who came to receive help from me. But I couldn’t help myself. If in the past I had felt the presence of invisible beings, now talking to them became a commonplace.

People admired me, I felt needed. But then came the day when things took a turn for the worse. I predicted for someone who was dear to me. The cards showed that he would die in an accident. Two days later, he was involved in a car crash and died at the hospital that evening.

Could it not have been a coincidence?

Of course not. When I went to his funeral a few days later and approached the coffin, I was attacked again by the same invisible force.

I started to feel very bad. I was taken to the hospital – on the operating table with a fever of 41.5 degrees and a terrible internal bleeding. The doctors waved their hands hopelessly. I heard one of them say: you can try, but she will die anyway.

Before the operation, I looked at the clock. It was nine o’clock on Thursday night. At exactly the same time a week ago, that person had unexpectedly died.

I knew it was no coincidence. There were evil forces in my life. I remembered the sentence: if you give the devil a finger, he will take a whole hand…

I decided that if I survived, I would stop with divination.

I survived, recovered, and put an end to divination. But “they” did not end with me.

Now the voices told me to kill myself. I was just thinking about it, night and day. I could no longer enjoy anything. I was looking for a solution and release at parties and bars, but the relaxation was temporary.

Death spied on me. It was only a matter of time before I would kill myself.

You didn’t want to die?

Not at all, I was young, beautiful, seemingly successful. I had money, a lot of acquaintances, family. I terribly feared being alone because the pressure to kill myself was stronger than my own will. Hope was gone, I was preparing to leave this world.

One sleepless night I heard a knock. It repeated. There was no one behind the window, not even behind the door. I thought knocking didn’t come from this world. An invisible person entered the room. I knew it was death. I stiffened. Definite fear. I thought I was going to die or go crazy… But suddenly something happened that I hadn’t expected. I was struck by a dazzling light. Everything disappeared except me. I didn’t see my home, my bed… I was in a place that had nothing to do with this world. Everything that the physical senses make us conscious of was gone. The greatest shock of my life came – Jesus was standing in front of me. Jesus, whom I had not believed, whom I had laughed at, whom I had mocked. The veil had fallen before my eyes. I had lived my whole life without believing in Jesus, yet He was more real than anything else.

But I was not His. Everything I had considered a fairy tale was in front of me at once. I saw a shining city with a lot of people in white clothes. They were all very happy. I sensed the inexplicable joy that came from these people. I saw the day when Jesus would come after His church and lead all who are His to eternal bliss. Everything that everyone in this world longs for was open to me, but no one could get there who did not acknowledge Jesus as the God and Messiah who came in the flesh. Only Jesus is the door to eternal life. But I had mocked Christians, pushing away all those who wanted to bring me the Good News. I was terribly tormented, distressed, and desperate to see what all I could have had and what I had lost because of my stupid choices. There are no words to describe this terrible loneliness and waiting for trial. At the same time, I also saw characters who had been following me. I saw demons destined to destroy humanity. But I also saw angels. I cried out to Jesus, “Now I know that You really exist, give me a second chance, please!”

Suddenly I was in my room again, hearing that someone left. Wonderful peace flowed over me. Before falling asleep, I managed to think: I want to dedicate my whole life to this Jesus, who is the King of the universe and who is man’s only refuge.

Only Truth sets you free. The fact is that there can be many hypotheses, but the TRUTH can only be one. Only the truth sets you free, the hypothesis does not free anyone. Many years have passed since the day of liberation. I am healthy and free, the voices, the compulsions and everything I had struggled with for 20 years have disappeared from my life forever. I enjoy being free and happy every day that is given to me. When I talk to others about my freedom, I see people like me once in a while. If someone had told me the truth about liberation, I could have avoided a lot of things.

Do you think that your truth will be heard in this very material age?

I don’t know, but I hope so. The world around us is full of selfish life -seekers. When it leads to huge problems, people grab hold of anything – horoscopes, divination, witches.

One day we all have to leave behind all that we have worked for and that is dear to us. Crossing the line of unknowingness, our education, knowledge, position, friends, money, career – everything, all our world becomes instantly insignificant.

Yes, I hope people come to their senses because there is no other choice.

Interviewed by Piret Udikas.

  • name changed.

Published April 12, 2002 in the Estonian Christian Weekly Newspaper(Word of Life) No. 14

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