Hold fast to faith, even when life seems to be “falling apart.” Yes, this is my story – the story of faith. A story in which I once said with faith what my life would be like. And a story that ended exactly as I said.
Testimony of Faith
At that time, I was at a turning point in my life. I have always had a strong love for God for as long as I can remember, but despite this, I felt like I was failing all the time in almost every aspect of my Christian life. When I turned 18, I had the opportunity to travel far from home. I spent a wonderful year in fellowship with many other believers and people who love God with all their hearts. This made a strong impression on me and I became more and more captured by this life that I saw in them. I knew that I wanted the same thing – a life of peace and quiet, full of joy in all life’s circumstances.
Once in the church we heard about the thoughts of God about us. (Jer. 29:11.) And we were encouraged to come forward and speak in faith—prophetically—of what our lives would be like from now on. (Ezek. 37:1-14.) I was shaking, my hands were sweaty, I was afraid to come forward and testify. But deep inside me, something really powerful was telling me that if I didn’t do it – it’s the same as not believing – and how will everything turn out then? So, trembling, I went out and said in faith, “No matter what comes my way, I will always trust in God. He will change my life and no matter what happens, I will stay in the Church of the living God.”
These were strong words, but they were words given by God at that moment, so I believed they were true.
Test of faith
After a while I had to move to another city. Severe trials did not tarry. I developed a deep depression. I spent many months with almost no contact with society, and on top of all this, my family situation also became extremely difficult. I had to go through many things that caused me a lot of pain.
As time went on, things didn’t seem to get better and I hit rock bottom. But it was there, when “my mouth was laid in the dust,” that I found a grain of hope (Lamentations Jer. 3:29.) In the midst of all these circumstances, I chose to believe. I didn’t feel well, but I loved God so much that I sincerely believed in Him and that “everything works together for my good.” (Rom. 8:28.) So, even though I did feel terrible about my situation, I made a conscious decision to choose faith and hope, even when things looked so hopeless. (Rom. 4:18.)
After a while, my friend found out about my situation and extended a helping hand to me. At one of the Christian meetings we went to together, I heard something that struck me. They talked about the spirit of prophecy and its power. We were then invited to bear witness in this spirit. At that moment, I remembered what I once testified. I knew that I needed to go out and say something again, because I understood that up to this point God had fulfilled what I once prophesied! I sincerely believed that everything I went through was part of God’s plan to transform me.
God was showing me more and more that if I accept all things in the right way, then my outer circumstances don’t really matter. These are my own thoughts about what my life should be, I had to overcome, believing in God that His way for my life is perfect. Then I learned to give thanks for everything, to pray without ceasing, not to complain and not to wish or expect the improvement of external situations, imagining that this would make me happy. And when I take Him at His word, I get the life I once longed for. A life filled with inner joy and peace is the life of Christ. This was the transformation He was doing in me. So I stood up and spoke again in the spirit of faith.
“But having the same spirit of faith, as it is written: I believed, and therefore I spoke, and we believe, therefore we speak.” 2 Corinth. 4:13.
I found that believing doesn’t mean I have to feel great. Faith is just a decision I make when I’m tempted. It is faith in the Word of God, not in one’s own abilities, feelings and reasoning. This is an action that brings me to rest and peace. It has nothing to do with pleasant feelings. Many times I had to suffer and my soul was troubled. (Ps. 6:3; John 12:27.) I was broken and had to rely only on God. For many days and nights I could not even sleep. But I never stopped believing. I was very much tempted to doubt, but I did not give in. When, for example, I was tempted by thoughts of envy, despair, or complaining, I called out to God and He gave me the strength to take these thoughts captive and not let them determine my future.
“Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” Roman. 10:17. When I began to receive the Word of God as it was written, I realized that I could turn in faith to myself. I don’t need a preacher by my side all day to hear the Word of God. I have His words, which are written in the Bible. Therefore, I can read His Word out loud over and over again so that faith enters my heart.
My struggles with despair, depression, murmur, envy, self-pity, hopelessness, etc. did not stop after I gave my first testimony. But I realized that if I focus on those things that are in the heavens, then nothing on this earth can shake my faith.
We can overcome everything thanks to Jesus and through the word of our testimony. (Rev. 12:11.) This is true and I have experienced it. And from now on, I want to preach faith to myself in other areas of my life. First of all, when I am alone, but also when I am surrounded by other people.
Source: Твёрдо держись веры, даже когда кажется, что жизнь «рушится». (aktivnoyekhristianstvo.ru)