I became a young man whose heart was filled with anger and hatred for Zionism. I hated Israel and I really hated the Jewish people.
I was happy when they were killed. When the Israeli buses were blown up, I said, “Long live Hamas!” and “Long live Fatah!”
My name is Ayman Srur. I am from Eilabun in Galilee. I have loved my village and its people very much since childhood.
When I was in the fourth grade, I watched the movie “Jesus,” the story of the life of Jesus according to the Gospel of Luke. I watched this movie and was deeply moved by the life of the Lord Christ, His death on the cross and His resurrection.
The last part of the movie, when the narrator asks you to repeat the prayer after him, especially touched my heart. The Lord spoke to my heart and called me and I prayed with the narrator. I will never forget that moment. I can only describe it as a moment in eternity because the Lord called me to know Him personally.
However, it was a difficult time and the reality was very difficult. One event that seriously affected my life was when the people of our Eilabun village were deported in 1948.
Growing up, I began to understand from family stories how much our beloved village suffered. The fact that my maternal grandfather was killed in cold blood during the war left a deep hole in my heart. My heart was full of very strong anger.
An event took place in Eilabun itself: a Jew was beheaded during the war. The people who beheaded him were not from Eilabun. They were from the so-called Salvation Army, which came from the Arab countries to save “Palestine” from the enemy, the so-called “enemy”.
They cut off his head and what’s worse: played football with his head! Moreover, they put his head on a pile of stones and laughed at him because he was dead and rejoiced at his death. They were called the “Salvation Army”.
The villagers, however, mourned the man’s death. Hatred and malice were not instilled in the hearts of the people of Eilabun. Instead, they followed basic human principles: to love one’s neighbor, to respect and not to belittle or ridicule another.
After that, the Israeli army became very angry. When the Israeli soldiers arrived, they were enraged and lined up several villagers in Martyrs’ Square in Eilabun and shot them in cold blood. They dragged them out of the church building where they had fled. And the square of the Martyrs in Eilabun was covered with their blood. How can we not be angry and not hate them?! How could one not feel anger and resentment towards those who committed this crime and heinous sin?
My grandmother told me the details of this story and my heart was filled with bitterness. Why, God? Why were innocent people killed in cold blood? What for? Because of someone else’s mistake…
Since my youth, I have had a dilemma with my political views: Are we for the Jewish state? Do we support the Zionists? Should we participate in the political life of the state of Israel, who stole our land from us and deported our villages and towns? Or are we part of the Arabs? Should we take the responsibility of the Muslim people and fight the evil Zionist enemy who stole our land and drove our people out of our cities?
I began to read political literature, which dazzled my eyes and hardened my heart. I forgot what my childhood was like. I became a young man whose heart was filled with anger and hatred for Zionism.
I hated Israel and I really hated the Jewish people. I was happy when they were killed. When the Israeli buses were blown up, I said, “Long live Hamas!” and “Long live Fatah!” I said: “You are jihadists, you are the truth, you are the strong ones who defended my honor.”
I forgot the prayer I had prayed in my youth and that the Lord is God. I forgot my promise to love, to forgive, as Christ forgave me and loved me. I forgot that promise and obligation.
I remember one incident that shocked me. I was watching the news about the terrorist attack in Haifa. And those who were killed turned out to be Jews who wore kippas on their heads, religious Jews. They wore black clothes, as black as their hearts. They held fast to the Old Testament that promised them the promised land that told them to kill and shed blood or something like that I believed at the time. I was happy when the body parts of the murdered Jews, our Zionist enemies, were collected.
But at that time my sister and another friend of mine were in Haifa. So I thought, what if my sister was one of the victims of that bomb? Would I be happy then? Or if someone else from my loved ones was there, would I be happy? What would my sister be guilty of?
This tragic event had a profound effect on me, and a new provocative thought arose in my mind and heart. If those who killed and robbed in the past sinned, why are other people being killed today, 40-50 years later? What is their fault? What is my sister’s fault that he could have been a victim of this terrible terrorist attack in Haifa?
I was like a man whose hands were tied. My heart was dark and my head was confused. Is a politician really that ideal? Is what he says infallible? Does he have the fullness of divine righteousness? What about a religious person, regardless of background, Christian, Muslim or Jew, is he telling the absolute truth?
At that time I started planning a trip abroad to Italy. A friend from Eilabun invited me to study there.
In Italy I met a man from an evangelical church. I met him on the street near the dormitories and he gave me an invitation to church. In this invitation I read about the end times, very difficult and scary things that scared me. So it was God’s call to go to church, to go to the house of God, my God. I was determined with all my heart and said to myself: “Lord, I am going to church today. I have had enough of the pain, problems and confusion in my life, my heart and my mind!”
I entered the church for the first time. I met someone and said, “I’m from Israel.” I was debating whether I should say “Israel” or not. But I decided to tell the truth: “I live in Israel. I am from Galilee.” He greeted me with such love. I felt his love in a tangible way.
I attended the service and thought it was very strange. But I felt the presence of God there!
The people in the church taught me the truth, but in love. They didn’t force me to do anything. “You must memorize all the verses of Scripture!” No. They expressed love and spoke the truth in love.
My hatred of the Jewish people was not rational. I had emotional problems, problems at work and in college. But it was also a spiritual battle. Today I would say it was the hand of the devil working in secret. He blinded my eyes and mind, but I continued to meet these precious people in the church. The Lord enlightened my heart step by step and enlightens me to this day.
Because the Bible is light. It opens the eyes of my heart and removes the resentment and hatred against the Jewish people. Maybe they love me. It is very likely that they hate me, but why should I repay evil with evil? Why should I respond to evil with hatred and revenge? As the Bible says:
“Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who despitefully use you and persecute you” (Matthew 5:44).
These things made me truly ashamed. I asked myself: “Am I a Christian, a believer or a nationalist who supports the conflict and my nationalism?”
It was a holy balance between love and truth. Because God truly loves all people. He loves Israel and the Palestinian people. Today I am a warrior for Jesus Christ. Today I declare my love for the Jewish people. Why? Because God is love. He reigns in my heart and in my mind… All things of old have passed away.
Today I know for sure that I do not live for material and transient things. Instead, I devoted my whole life to heavenly and eternal things and to giving glory to God.
And just as Jesus Christ removed the hate from my heart, just as He loves me and gave Himself on the cross for me, He loves you just the way you are!
Come to Him, open your heart to Jesus Christ, regardless of your background and thoughts. Don’t let any person or conflict keep you from God’s love for you. May the love of God conquer all and silence all the voices in your heart, as it is written in the Bible:
“Today, when you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts” (Psalm 95:7-8).
You can watch the video in Russian here.
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