Vasily and Vasilina asked to meet with the elders of their church. It was a young church, made up mostly of students and recent students. And the presbyters in it were also quite young – 30-35 years old. But, despite their age, so young for the concept of “presbyter” (which in Greek means “old man”), they took their duties very seriously and used every opportunity to grow in ministry, they attended all possible courses, seminars and conferences, comprehending the depths of homiletics, exegesis, theology, counseling and other knowledge and skills necessary for a pastor.
Vasily and Vasilina differed from other members of the church in age. Vasily was 45, Vasilina – 40. But it was in this church that they met Christ. First, Vasilina came to the meeting and later, a year or two later, Vasily. It was their church, they loved it and were always the first to gladly take up any business. And they were loved in the church and not only for this. They were a wonderful couple – a model for all young families. Always and everywhere they appeared only together, holding hands at every opportunity. Anyone who saw them understood: now this is – true love!
At a meeting with the presbyters, Vasily immediately got down to business: “We want to repent. The Lord has revealed to us that our lives are not right and we should change them by taking responsibility and correct our relationship before the Lord.” It turned out that Vasily and Vasilina were not married. Moreover, long before the conversion, they already had families and Vasily even had a child, now an adult and living in another country. The tragedy of the divorce experienced left deep scars on their hearts and inspired fear of a new marriage. Having lived together for five years, they still could not decide to streamline their relationship – none of them would have survived another divorce! Now, being with the Lord, they have learned to trust Him and each other. They were ready to get rid of the chaos of the past and wanted to put their relationship in order.
There was a deathly silence. The elders were shocked. All this time they considered Vasily and Vasilina to be husband and wife, even attracted them to various ministries and suddenly – this! Fornicators in the church of God! Having asked the couple to leave, the “elders” began to convulsively recall what they had been taught in courses and seminars. The closest to the situation were recommendations for premarital preparation of young couples who are just about to get married, but have already entered into sexual relations. Having invited Vasily and Vasilina back, the young brothers announced their verdict to them – you need to:
1) separate and no longer live together before marriage;
2) enroll in premarital training courses, which the elders plan to conduct in six months;
3) pass exams and receive a certificate of readiness for family life. And only after all this
4) officially marry and move in together again.
Now Vasily and Vasilina were in shock. They wanted to improve their lives by correcting what was wrong in it. They expected understanding and sympathy. Mercy and grace, finally! The decision of the presbyters was not only meaningless in their situation, but also destructive – Vasilina was already very pregnant and as parents they wanted the child to have a full-fledged and not only a “biological” father at birth … Disobedience to the decision of the presbyters was fraught with very serious consequences, up to leaving the church.
I shared this story because I know about it firsthand – I was directly involved in the “resolving” of the problem. And I heard a lot about situations in which the church turned out to be very far from the ideas about the Kingdom of God. But, not wanting to be a peddler of gossip, I will remind you of only a few facts that have received wide publicity and are confirmed by court decisions.
I guess everyone has heard of the church, which became a model of missionary activity and soon became the fastest growing denomination in Eastern Europe. However, later the leadership of the church got carried away with the prosperity gospel and the church, in fact, turned into a financial pyramid, which extorted money from its members. When the pyramid burst, everyone who had invested in the “God’s Business” was left with nothing. The pastor was charged under the articles “fraud on an especially large scale”, “creation of a criminal organization” and “forgery of documents”. Only officially, by a court decision, 618 people were recognized as victims and the total material damage caused to them amounted to ten million hryvnia (at that time – about two million dollars). It is not easy to prove the fact of fraud in court, because people gave their money voluntarily. But in general, according to the investigation, more than three thousand people became victims of the scheme and the material damage caused by it throughout the country was estimated at two hundred million hryvnias (forty million dollars).
“It’s a long time ago,” you say. Well, here’s a fresher story. Naason Joaquín Garcia, leader of La Luz del Mundo (Light of the World), an evangelical church with more than a million members worldwide, was arrested in June 2019. He was charged with thirty counts, including possession of child pornography, human trafficking, sexual abuse of minors and extortion. For three years, while the pre-trial investigation was going on, the church held protests against slandering their pastor, who was considered a martyr of the faith. But in June 2022, two days before his trial, Garcia pleaded guilty to three counts of child sexual abuse and was sentenced to two hundred months in prison. A federal lawsuit is still pending alleging that the defendant and his father sexually abused a girl between the ages of 12 and 18 for several years. He is also awaiting a civil court hearing in the case of forced labor and human trafficking.
“But this is all liberal neo-Protestantism,” you say, “that doesn’t happen in mature evangelical churches.” Well, here is a very recent story. Just recently (February 9, 2023), the highly respected magazine “Christianity Today” published an article about the thousands of conservative Christian church, which has a huge impact both in the US and around the world, especially in Eastern Europe. Many of our pastors have attended conferences organized by this church with great benefit.
The wife of a children’s music director and Bible teacher asked the brethren’s council to protect her and her children from harassment and violence from her husband. The elders told her that a wife should be submissive to her husband and set an example of obedience to her children, even suffering for Jesus if she had to endure cruel treatment. Some time later, in order to protect the children, the woman called to the police for help and kicked her husband out of the house. What did the church do? It subjected the victim of violence to a public humiliation, applying disciplinary measures to her.
In the end, the husband was sentenced to a life in prison for aggravated child molestation, child mutilation and child abuse. The wife’s fears were not empty inventions at all. And what about the church? It condemned the woman for going to the secular court.
One of the elders of the church was asked to assess the problem as a lawyer. It turned out that such situations arose repeatedly. Real victims of domestic violence were quoted passages from the Scriptures about love, forgiveness, trust, humility and unconditional submission, asked them to reconcile with their husbands and return home. In fact, the leadership of the church covered domestic crime for many years. Seeing this, the presbyter offered to apologize at least in private to the victims. But he was asked to either retract his conclusions or resign from his position as a presbyter.
There are countless stories like this. When Mahatma Gandhi was asked what religion he would choose if he had the opportunity to do it from scratch, he answered: “Christianity.” “What is stopping you from choosing Christianity now?” They asked him. He replied: “Christians.” Alas, when dealing with Christians, one often has to deal with humiliation, criticism, gossip, fraud, moral impurity and so on. There is hardly anyone in the church who has not at least once had a reason to be disappointed in it.
You say: “Is it worth talking about it? It is not good to sweep the garbage out of the hut.” And I would probably agree. But sweeping it under the carpet is also not the case. What to do if you are disappointed with the church? First of all, it is worth considering three principles.
Principle one. Don’t be under any illusions. Too often we have high expectations for the church—its members and its ministers. Sometimes they are unrealistic. Scripture warns, “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1:8). Do not forget the good old recipe: if you don’t want to be disappointed, don’t be fascinated!
I do not want to discuss the life of anyone else, but let’s take, at least me. It is unlikely that even someone who does not know me well will have the illusion that I am perfect. But if this suddenly happens, ask my wife. Only the Lord knows me better than she does. She could have a lot of interesting things to say. However, as an ideal wife, she will not tell you about that. When the sisters in our seminars tell her that she is very lucky to have a husband like me, she silently agrees. And I understand: This is grace. Yes, she, like no one else, knows that I’m not perfect. But I am loved. And love covers many sins (1 Peter 4:8).
Of course, the requirements for the ministers of the church should be much higher than for ordinary members. “My brothers!” – writes the first elder of the Jerusalem church, James, – “not many of you should become teachers.” (James 3:1). It is quite normal to expect a minister to be honest, decent and faithful. Expectations should be high, but don’t expect ministers to be perfect. For it is said, “Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways…” (James 3:1,2).
There is only one example of perfection under the sun—Jesus. Only in Him will we never be disappointed. I can only give you the best version of me. Yes, I’m not perfect, but you won’t find a better me than me at the moment. I believe that the Lord continues to work on me, no matter how far from perfection I am. I am loved. But I am not Him. So…
The second principle. Don’t try to see the minister as Jesus. Thirty years ago I had a chance to communicate with an Orthodox deacon who traveled to towns and villages giving missionary lectures. With reverent delight, he shared the story of how a certain boy said to him as he was leaving the temple: “I saw how they crucified you there.” The boy mistook a man in a strange toe-length robe, with a beard and long hair, for the One who was depicted on the icons inside the temple. Alas, I was in no hurry to share the naive pride of the narrator. “God forbid,” I thought, “that someone, trying to see You in me, would be disappointed in You.” Our job is to lead people to follow Christ and not to replace Christ with ourselves.
When I first got a car, my friends gave me a sticker in the shape of a fish. Gluing these on your cars was then so popular that it was almost considered a Biblical commandment: “By this, everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you have the marks of fish on your chariots.” I thanked for the gift, but did not use it. I would not want people to judge my Lord by the way I sometimes drive.
One of my favorite pieces of music is Debussy’s “Moonlight.” Its enchanting sounds penetrate deep into the heart, like a prayer. But it is unlikely that you will appreciate this masterpiece if you hear it in the clumsy performance of a constantly stammering student of a music school. It will be an incoherent set of sounds. However, the work itself will not get worse from this! Do not judge its author by the performer. Don’t judge the Lord by His faltering followers.
Even the apostles, direct disciples of Christ, constantly stammered. We find many examples of this in the New Testament. The disciples of Christ continue to stutter today. But Christ is always the same. The role of us, imperfect ones, is to point to the One Who is perfect, to be His witnesses. And a false teacher is not one who teaches incorrectly (we all do not know the fullness of God’s wisdom and often make mistakes). A false teacher is anyone who leads people to follow him and not Christ! Don’t follow me. Follow Him.
Do not misunderstand me. Yes, we must be faithful to our church. But if pride, humiliation, lawlessness, immorality, slander, lies, hypocrisy constantly reign in your church and you are in no way able to influence this, leave it, like those women who are forced to leave their families with pain, saving children from the reigning there is indecency. Shake off the dust from your feet. However, one cannot judge all families by toxic and unhealthy families. A family shouldn’t be like this. And therefore:
The third principle. Don’t judge all churches by individuals.
There are unfaithful spouses, bad teachers and evil bosses. Does this mean that all teachers, spouses, bosses, pastors and churches are like that? Of course not. Read the letters of the Apostle Paul – Corinthians, Galatians, Colossians; read the epistles of John. There were no less problems then than today! We look up to the early churches, but even the most quoted epistle, the Corinthians, has a lot to say about what is wrong with them. And this is by no means written down so that we say: “We thank You, Lord, that we are not like them,” but so that, if possible, we would not repeat their mistakes or at least know how to correct them.
There are a lot of problems in the church, both in the early and in the modern one. What to do: turn away from Christ or learn the proper lesson? Scripture does not say: if the church or the pastor has disappointed you, then do not communicate with the believers anymore – be on your own. On the contrary, it is said: “Let us not neglect the opportunity to meet with each other, which some neglect. Let us encourage one another, especially as we see that the day of His return is drawing near” (Hebrews 10:25 MBO translation).
Ephesians 5 compares the relationship between Christ and the Church to that between spouses in a marriage. Haven’t you ever, at least once, been hurt in a marriage? Wasn’t it offending? They say how a certain policeman voiced the standard protocol text to the detainee: “Every word you say will be used against you.” To which he replied: “I know, officer, I’m married.”
Marriage is painful. Conflicts, betrayals, violence, divorces, alas, are not uncommon. But when we experience pain in marriage, we understand that it is not the marriage that hurts us, but a specific person. Likewise, it is not the church that disappoints us, but the individual within it. How to overcome this pain?
First advice. Remember, you are not the first to get hurt.
“If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1:8). There is not, and never has been, anyone in the church but sinners. But leaving the church, left alone with yourself, you still won’t get rid of the presence of sinners! However, even the most fallen sinners did not cause Jesus such pain than those believers who considered themselves righteous, having no need for repentance. Jesus called them hypocrites (actors who change the masks of the characters they play).
Let’s not pretend to be who we are not! As the great hermeneutic expert Tevye the Milkman said, interpreting the verse of Jeremiah 17:14: “We have enough sicknesses, send us healing.” Healing is impossible without forgiveness. Who didn’t hurt the most if not Jesus when He hung on the Cross? The people closest and most devoted to Him fled, and those who were responsible for justice and righteousness were doing lawlessness over Him. How did Jesus react? “Father! forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). So,
Second advice. Forgive.
Colossians 3:13 in literal translation (BTB) is: and you must forgive just as the Lord forgave you.” We do not have to become sick. In the church, as in the family, the cause for discontentment will arise more than once! We will have to endure each other. We are doomed to forgive.
Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting. Some of the scars we have inflicted in the family, or in the church, will never heal. To forgive means to remember what Christ did to us and to those people on whom we harbored a grudge. We are one in Christ. And therefore:
Advice three. Stay Connected to the Body of Christ
The Church is the Bride of Christ. You can imagine how at the wedding you will approach the groom and say: “I share your joy, but your bride is ugly.” If you love the groom, you cannot help but love his bride. Who, after all, knows the true value of the bride, if not the groom? Whatever she is, she is loved!
But do not forget that the bride of Christ is us. We are ugly, beloved by God the Father, sanctified by grace and washed by the holy blood of the Lord Jesus Christ, illuminated by the presence of the Holy Spirit. “Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God?” – writes the apostle, – …do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” (1 Corinthians 6:9-11).
Do you want to change the church? Then change yourself. Let’s change together. “Let us treat each other with attention, encouraging each other to love and good deeds. Let’s not neglect the opportunity to meet with each other, which some neglect. Let us encourage one another, especially as we see that the day of His return is drawing near” (Hebrews 10:24,25 MBO). So
— a recipe for overcoming disappointment with the church:
– take care of each other
– encourage each other to love and good deeds,
– do not neglect the opportunity to meet with each other,
– encourage each other.
May the Lord help us in this!
Sergei Golovin/ scienceandapologetics.com.
Source: Почему происходит разочарование церковью | Статьи на inVictory
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