– Misha, shalom, tell us a little about yourself. How it all began?
Even as a child, I was very interested in questions about God. And so, at the age of seven, I asked my father if God exists, and if so, what kind of God He is and where He lives. Since my father was raised as an atheist, the answer was unequivocally no. Like, there has never been any God, no, and never will be …
This answer upset me, and I did not want to believe it at all, so I went with the same question to my mother. She had slightly different ideas about God, and she told me that God, in her understanding, is some kind of energy substance, thanks to which the cosmos was created, and which permeates everything and controls everything. Mom’s answer was more acceptable, and this was the first knowledge of Him.
Later, in tenth grade, I was talking to a friend of mine about God, and he assured me that the Bible stories about Jesus were true. With childish naivete, I really wanted to believe it, but I also wanted to get to the bottom of the truth myself. Thus began my conscious search for truth…
Probably like many of us :)
I wanted to learn more about God and His creation, but, unfortunately, I did not start reading the Bible, but began to study esotericism … Very soon, the understanding came that the scientific theory of the birth of the Universe, and Darwin’s theory, is a lie. The study of the occult changed my banal understanding and perception of the environment, I began to notice patterns of cause and effect relationships between the physical and spiritual world. Sometimes I tested the theory in practice, and seeing the results, I was even more firmly established in false teachings.
As the years passed, I was in my second year at the academy in Kyiv, where, with sufficient baggage of occult knowledge and skills, I found an “authoritative healer.” I studied with him for a year. Thus, succeeding in the craft of my teacher, for the general development, I finally began to study the New Testament, visit Orthodox churches and practice fasting and prayer.
– A rather explosive mixture – occultism and Orthodoxy
Half a year later, I moved from the academic dormitory to an apartment, where by a “lucky chance” the owner turned out to be a believer. It was as if we spoke different languages with her: she spoke to me gently and delicately about God, and I told her about the basics of esotericism … Once she saw an Orthodox prayer book in my possession, opened it, and drew my attention to the prayers of Mary, the mother of Jesus. She told me that Yeshuas mother was just a human being, and then she showed me where in the Bible God strictly forbids His people to worship anyone other than Him. The same applied to prayers to the guardian angel and other personalities. She showed me the relevant Scriptures. I read them over and over in disbelief, but they spoke unambiguously. For greater conviction, I went to the monks in an Orthodox church, where I asked one of them a simple question: “Where in the Bible is there instruction on the worship of the Virgin Mary and guardian angels”? The monk replied that there is no such instruction in the Bible, but, once, to some saint it was …
Apparently, he did not expect such a tricky question.
I boldly dared to interrupt him and asked the same question again. He again replied that this was not in the Bible… Frankly, I was discouraged by the answer. The exhortations did not end there, and very soon the above mentioned woman openly declared that turning to icons for an answer is nothing more than idolatry, which is so hateful to God. Like the first time, she opened the passages of Holy Scripture, where it was written in Russian in black and white – not to make any images, and not to worship them. And for the second time, I did not believe either her or my eyes and again I went to another Orthodox church, where I asked the local priest the same simple question: “Where in the Bible is there an instruction on the worship of icons”? He replied that there is no instruction about icons in the Bible, but the icon serves as a window to heaven, and … Here again I, unable to restrain myself, interrupted, after which I asked the same question again. Batiushka, seeing my information selectivity, answered more briefly: “There is no such instruction in the Bible!”
– Did it really puzzle you?
Yes, already in three important aspects, the biblical view clearly ran counter to the established norms of Orthodoxy. There was a feeling that, due to my ignorance, I was simply being deceived for a long time … I wanted to understand at least the basics through the Bible. So, during the subsequent teachings, I already had enough confirmation of the relevant passages of Scripture.
Once, to satisfy her curiosity, the Christian woman who owned the apartment where I lived at that time asked me to conduct a basic session of magical practices with her to improve her well-being. I agreed. Just before the start, she called on God in prayer and asked Him to protect her from all evil. After this prayer, I felt how all my “invisible spiritual forces” simply disappeared and evaporated. I suddenly felt how I became spiritually bankrupt… All my acquired skills and knowledge could not help me in any way, it was as if I were suddenly disarmed. This woman seemed to be in an invulnerable cocoon …
“Magic was powerless?”
The power that protected her was not only a level higher, it had a completely different nature and absolute character. I suddenly realized that compared to this, everything I had done before was an investment in losing. That evening I learned an important lesson for myself: God is more real and stronger than I thought. Common sense dictated that even magic of the highest level was inferior to the advantage of God’s power. This incident laid the foundation for a change in my outlook. I realized that now I want to be under the protection of God, which meant that I would have to cross out everything that I had done before, renounce it forever and submit to the new authority. And deep down I was glad about this, because I understood that “the game is worth the candles.”
So I repented, threw away the occult literature and began to learn a new life – a life with God, which turned out to be much more colorful. In the first year after repentance, my usual state was happiness, joy became my companion and the shalom on my heart seemed to be “set by default”.
I tried to attend all church activities, went through the basics of faith and Bible college, the study of the Scriptures and prayer became my favorite activities …
– And yet, a difficult period in life came?
When my studies ended, I joined the ranks of the officers of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, where the working day was not limited to the day, and free weekends were a rare occurrence … Due to such a schedule, I could no longer even attend general church services and the study of Scripture and prayer were reduced to a minimum. Every day I felt that shalom was gradually leaving my heart and joy was becoming a rare guest. My lamp gradually burned out and my soul became gloomy, melancholy and cold. So a year and a half passed and despite the fact that I did not return to my previous atrocities, I was still like a living dead. only sweet memories remained from my happy life with God.
Having worked out the mandatory term of service in the Ministry of Internal Affairs, I unambiguously and irrevocably decided to quit as I understood that this type of activity causes unacceptable harm to my soul. After my dismissal, I moved back to Vinnitsa, where I became part of God’s mishpah, where shalom returned to me, happiness made friends with me again and joy simply rarely leaves … Now, finally, I see how wonderfully God has put things in order in my life, how everything finally fell into place.
— What is the most important thing, in your opinion, that God has changed in you?
Looking through the prism of time, I see how the Lord is gradually changing my character, how He is changing my thinking. He miraculously transformed me from a narcissistic egoist into a God-loving altruist.
— What do you value most in the church and in God?
In God I appreciate His understanding, His compassion, His long-suffering, His forgiveness, His delicacy in working with my character, His attentiveness to my needs … I also appreciate, among all the above, His unconditional love for me. In the church, I value its maximum closeness to biblical standards, norms, priorities…
– If you could meet yourself before you came to God – what would you say to him (that is, to yourself)?
I would start the conversation with how God sees me: “Beloved son of Zion…”
It would be a very long conversation based on a chain of logical arguments, in which I would convince myself to go along the thorny path of Truth … I am more than sure that I would listen to myself and choose a shorter right path.
In the top ten, in conclusion, I would add that at the end of the earthly journey with God begins an eternity of unspeakable bliss in Heaven…
— Your future with God – how do you see it?
In the future, I would very much like to continue to change for the better, not to be just a useful member of the community, but to be an effective “fighting unit” to achieve the main goals set for both the church and every believer.
Interviewer — Alex Fishman
Source: https://ieshua.org/istorii-zhizni-misha-chervinko-magiya-ustupaet-pered-siloj-boga.htm
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