Today I read a testimony that hurt me. I hated the fact that it hurt me as I read it when I should have been rejoicing along with this couple having their prayer answered. This story stung me because I am still waiting for God to heal my daughter.
When my Diandra was still a child, a lady told me that she would be cured of Down syndrome at the age of three. She recently turned twelve and still has Down syndrome.
Today I read the testimony of one couple whose child was diagnosed with Down syndrome. Their church prayed and the baby was born healthy. Hallelujah! I probably should have danced, but I got a lump in my throat and cried all day. I am a member of a church where there is a lot of healing going on, and sometimes it is very difficult to listen to testimonies like this.
I struggle with the urge to leave the community of believers when I feel like the birth of my daughter has labeled me or made me a burden. I’m like a target for everyone to have a “word” on why she has Down syndrome. One wealthy lady told me that my daughter has Down syndrome because my great-great-great-grandfather practiced incest. “Ask God if there was incest and break it in your family,” she told me in the church bathroom. I felt sick because I’m not going to have my family examined for sexual deviance.
I mean, church is supposed to be the safest place for weak, fragile, and broken people, right? My church has tried its best to help me with Diandra and she is pretty much in tune with people. I am grateful to all the ministers who contributed to her well-being. But there are still people who believe that they have a “word” for you because of a child with disabilities.
I cried out to God to remove all traces of bitterness from my soul because I could not stand before the congregation and testify that my daughter was healed. Instead of bitterness, I rejoice in everything that the Lord has done in her now:
She loves going to church. She would go to church every day if she could.
She loves to glorify God.
She prays fervently.
She tends to be independent.
She is much more sensitive to people and caring than many people I know.
She is very outspoken and verbally consistent. You can understand what she is saying and she has something to say.
She’s funny, a real jokester and always makes me laugh.
She taught me patience and compassion that I never knew I had.
She opened up a whole world of people with disabilities that I had not noticed before. Now I am very sensitive to how such people are viewed and perceived.
She made me an advocate for people who can’t stand up for themselves.
My dream is to see the church as the safest place for people with disabilities. My dream is that people with disabilities can walk into God’s house and feel normal, loved, and important in a moment in His presence. Every moment of their lives they say without words that they are inconvenient and stupid in a society that glorifies beauty and strength. I would like to see a church where they can forget their limitations and harmonize with the community of believers, because we are all afflicted with sin, fear, poverty, etc.
I dream of the church as a place where Christ can enter their lives without obstacles. If they got up from their wheelchairs and threw away their crutches – hallelujah! If not, we continue to be a part of their lives and fight for them. But there is no pressure of perfection, of some kind of efficiency or “accept healing, otherwise there is something wrong with you.” Fortunately, I have never experienced anything like this in my church.
My church is not perfect, but it is like a cocoon of approval and love for Diandra. She doesn’t even know she has Down syndrome because she is involved in the community. When we pray for people to be healed, I ask her if she would like to come down to the stage and receive prayer. “No, Mommy, I’d rather pray for them,” she replies.
When God does not heal your child, know that healing is like a flood. It may not come to you in a bright, shiny package like you imagine so you can show it to others. It may occur in those moments when she wants to pray for the healing of another person, or when she says, “Mommy, is there church tonight?” and you answer, “No, my dear, there is no church tonight,” she looks sad and asks: “Will there be church tomorrow?”
Receive the healing that the Lord desires to give to your heart. I pray that the flow of God’s healing will flow through you. Experience the healing touch of His love, acceptance, mercy and power to care for your child. And let His healing flow through you.
Author – Leilani Haywood / charismamag.com
Source: Что если ваш ребенок не исцеляется? (ieshua.org)
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